I can't live without you here
by GaelicAngel
Summary: What would Dean do if Sam had died besides selling his soul at the crossroads.
1. Chapter 1:A Promise

DISCLAIMER: NOPE DON'T OWN THEM. WISH THE HELL I DID THOUGH

A/N: Okay this happens between Shadow and Hell house. I took some liberty with the timeline so it mite be a little out of time but I needed to get this out of my system. This might be a deathfic it might not be.

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I Can't live without you here.

CHAPTER 1: A PROMISE

It's been three hours since Dean pulled into Bobby's yard carrying a half conscious Sam from the car, up the stairs and into their room. It's been four hours since Dean killed the werewolf that attacked and clawed Sam's body leaving him within inches of his life. It's been an hour since Dean and Bobby managed to stitch and bandage every wound and gash. Sam was lucky the werewolf did not bite him before Dean got a shot off. It's been almost half an hour since Sam began fading in and out of consciousness. The shock and internal damage slowly but surely taking its toll on Sam's damaged body…

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Dean was sitting on one of the beds in the room they usually slept in when staying at Bobby's. He was sitting with his back against the headboard Sam cradled in his arms, head resting against Dean's chest. His one hand holding Sam close to his other in his air brushing away body, the strands of Sam to long hair from his forehead. Every time a spasm of pain went thought the younger Winchesters body Dean would whisper calming words to him, clutching him closer to his body as fresh tears made their way down his face, dripping into Sam's blood and sweat soaked hair.

Yes, Dean Winchester was crying. He was crying because when your brother's dying in your arms you make a goddamn exception……..

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A FEW MINUNTES LATER……

"DEAN…."

The word was spoken was spoken like a whisper but it still send a wave of pain though Sam's body. If Dean's face wasn't buried in Sam's hair he would have missed it but it but he was fully alert when Sam moaned his name.

"Hey Sammy, how you feeling?" Dean asked also whispering.

"Not so good. Everything hurts, Dean" Sam moaned voice filled with pain.

"I Know. I know, but that's what happens if you try to be a chew toy for a werewolf." Dean tried to joke.

"JERK."

"BITCH."

"Dean…..I'm so…cold "Sam said struggling to draw in breath and speak.

"Don't worry Sammy, you'll feel better in a while .I promise, okay. You'll be alright."Dean tried to comfort him as new tears started to run down his face.

"Lair" Sam said half smiling and half wincing in pain as he grabbed Dean's hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Dean, promise me something?"

"Anything, Sammy" Dean said voice faltering on the last words.

'Promise me that after you find Dad and killed the thing that killed Mom and Jess, you'll stop hunting and live you're live."

"I…."Dean began

"Pr…promise me, please" Sam gasped, the pain starting to increase.

"I promise, Sammy." Dean answered looking into Sam's pain filled eyes that started to glaze over.

"D...Dean…" Sam started but a new wave of pain hit him again.

"Sammy, no, don't you dare. Please don't die, don't leave me here, PLEASE." Dean begged

"Sorry…I…can't, Dean. It hurts… too… much" Sam struggled to say.

"No, Sammy. PLEASE……"

"I love…you …Dean" Sam gasped

'I love you too Sammy" Dean sobbed and when Sam let out his last breath he was gone.

Dying in Dean's arms.

Dean buried his face in Sam's shoulder. Heartbreaking sobs ripping though his body.

"No, No, No…Sammy… Come back, please…"

"I can't live without you here…" he cried into Sam's shoulder, feeling like his heart, his very soul just died….

TO BE CONTINUED….

A/N: please don't hate me


	2. Chapter 2:No Time

DISCIAIMER: HUH, you're joking right? ME own THEM….

Now that's a good one

A/N: Thank you to all that reviewed, alerted and read. I really appreciate it and stick around this is gonna get really good … I hope.

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I can't live without you here Chapter 2: No time

When Bobby came in later and offered to help Dean with Sam's body Dean bolted for the bathroom, slamming the door shut and could be heard being violently sick. When Bobby knocked and didn't get an answer he made his way back to the stairs figuring Dean would find him if he was ready because right now was the time to stay out of his way. Pushing him would be like cruising for a bruising.

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When he finally stopped being sick, he managed to pull himself up by the side of the sink. Washing his face did nothing for the silent tears running down his face. Closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the mirror his mind kept repeating the last few hours over and over. Analysing every detail, every action trying to find a way that he could have stopped what happened but when his mind kept coming back to the fact that his baby bother, his Sammy, was lying dead in the next room he started retching again moaning Sam's name the entire time.

This time when he looked into the mirror his emerald green eyes that was filled with unbearable pain only moments ago had become hard and cold. Tears still wet his face but all emotion had left his eyes. Walking out the bathroom he gave his brother's dead body one more look.

Heading for the stairs he knew what he needed to do and he didn't have any time to waste……

TO BE CONTINUED….

A/N: Just to give you guys a heads up I am not going to get near a computer until next week sometime so I'll only be able to respond to reviews then.

IF you like you can let me know what you think Dean is going to do and maybe it'll come up.

A/N: If you could let me know about a town and state in the US I would be very grateful because I need a location for another story a want to post later on called Blood Curse, please let me know via PM or review, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3 : Dicisions & Goodbyes

**DISCLAIMER: ****I thought we had been through this already and had all agreed…… I DON'T **

**OWN THEM….but I can dream….**

**A/N: Sooooo **sorry about the late post but my muse is MIA. If you see a fairy/elf/demon with small pointed ears, red skin, leather clothes & biker boots with black angel wings flying past tell her to get her ass back here, just be careful she has one HELL of a temper.

O.K people grab your Kleenex and a friendly warning this is not Dean friendly so please no flames although I have a feeling after this I'm gonna have the whole fandom mad!!!!!!!1

I can't live without you here

CHAPTER 3: DICISIONS & GOODBYES

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Dean found Bobby in the kitchen nursing a strong shot of whiskey. He didn't even bother to hide the fact that he had been crying. The first thing Bobby noticed when he looked at Dean was his eyes. They were devoid of all emotion, like they turned into green stone in a matter of minutes.

"Hey kid" Bobby said gruffly, Dean only nodded as he stood against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest.

"How you doing, you alright?" Bobby asked and then mentally kicked himself for asking the dumbest question of the century.

There was a beat of silence before Dean answered vaguely, voice laced with pain.

"No, but I will be….soon'

It wasn't what he said that had Bobby worried, but the determination he said it with and that made a chill run up Bobby's spine.

"Dean…..' he began but Dean cut him off

"Don't worry Bobby, everything will be alright."

"I just don't want you doing anything stupid, o.k." Bobby told him taking a swig from his glass.

"Like I said I'll be alright." Dean reassured him. Grabbing his leatherjacket that hung haphazardly over one of the chairs and pulling it on over his bloodstained short sleeved shirt he said,

"Look I need some fresh air, so I'm gonna pull the Impala to the side of the house."

Leaving Bobby in kitchen he grabbed a pen and pad off the table and made for the front door. Minutes later Bobby could hear the powerful rumble as Dean started the engine.

****************************************************

Dean pulled the car behind a pile of cars so that he would be out of site and Bobby wouldn't see what he was doing.

He was sitting on the hood of his beloved car reading what he just wrote, when he was satisfied he folded both letters and slipped them into envelopes and marked one Bobby and one Dad. He put both letters in his pocket and picked up his cell phone that was lying next to him. His hands shook when he flipped open his phone, taking a deep breath he dialled his dad's number and put the phone to his ear praying that maybe, just this once his dad would actually answer the damn thing. The phone gave a couple of rings before John's voicemail clicked on,

"_You've reached John Winchester. I am unavailable at the moment. If you need help you can call my sons Dean or Sam at 1-866-907-3235 and they will be able to help."_

The message played trough and the tone beeped so Dean cleared his throat and left his dad a message.

"Hi Dad, it's Dean. Just_…uhm…_well there was a hunt that went … wrong and…_uhm…_Sam got hurt real bad. He_…uhm…_Sammy, he…he died awhile ago. I…I just called to let you know and tell…tell you not to worry…because he…_uhm…_won't be alone for long. We're at Bobby's so if you get this I just wanted to tell you that I…_uhm…_I love you and I…_uhm…_just wanted to say goodbye Dad.

Oh ad before I forget, do me a favour and take care of the Impala for me. Thanks Dad…Bye.

He closed the phone and just stared at it before he slipped it back into his pocket. He then took off his jacket and put it beside him on the hood. He then picked up the last item that was lying beside him on the hood and just stared at it while fresh tears streamed down his face, his body shaking with grief as he sobbed.

Memories flashing past his eyes.

Memories of his parents, of him and Sam growing up, training together, getting into trouble together and he gave a ghost of a smile at the last one, because contrary to popular believe not everything the two of them got into was his idea.

Their entire lives together up until a few hours ago when Sammy got ripped away from him.

He knew he made Sam a promise but he couldn't keep it. He couldn't live without Sam, not now and not in the future. How the hell was he supposed to live when the reason for him to live had just died in his arms......

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He watched the light reflect off of the blade of his favourite hunting knife. The knife Sam always made fun of because he kept it under his pillow at night.

He watched, thinking about Sam and then with his decision made he presses the sharp blade against his wrist and slices deep enough into the soft flesh to cut open his veins. He grits his teeth as he repeats the same action on his other wrist. He wipes the bloodstained blade on his jean leg and slides it back into the sheath in his boot.

He sat there for a couple of minutes watching the blood run down his wrists. His elbows were resting on his knees to stop the blood running down his fingers. He was mesmerized by the two puddles of blood forming on the ground in front of him. When he finally looked up he was already starting to feel lightheaded so he put his jacket back on and got up slowly. Standing against the car for support he guessed he had just enough time left to go say goodbye to Bobby and make it up the stairs to Sam. He could feel the blood, his blood, run against his skin as he kept his arms wrapped around his body. A chill was already starting to run through his body as he made his way back to the house with one last glance at his beloved car, a sad smile on his beautiful pain filled face..........

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

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**A/N :** Man that was my longest chapter ever. So what do you guys think, is Dean gonna make it or not.......

**PLEASE GUYS REVIEW OR THROW ME A PM WITH YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS.......PLEASE..........**


	4. Chapter 4:See you soon

**DISCLAMER:**** NOPE STILL NOT MINE, BUT I AM NOT GIVING UP ON THAT FANTISY JUST YET…..**

**A/N:** Sorry this took so damn long to post but real live rpt popping up and I have about seven stories

running through my head but this should go a lot faster from now on…..

To all of you who have read, reviewed and alerted thank you so much, you can guess how much it means to me being writers yourselves so THANKS A MILLION…….

******************DEAN***SAM**********************

**I can't live without you here**

Chapter 4: See you soon

Bobby was still in his kitchen finishing what looked like his fourth glass of whiskey when he heard Dean come into the house. He nearly dropped the glass when he got a good look at him.

Dean's eyes were glazed and bloodshot, tear tracks running down his cheeks. His lips had a slight blue tinge to them, his skin so pale you could almost count his freckles. He had his arms wrapped around his body like he was cold. All in all the boy looked like death warmed up and that made another chill run up Bobby's spine.

"_God please don't let that boy do something stupid."_ Bobby thought looking Dean up and down. He was brought out of his thoughts when Dean found his voice.

"Called Dad" Dean's voice had a slight quiver to it as if speaking was an effort. Bobby put it down to recent events and shock over Sam's death.

"He decide to pick up the bloody phone this time?" Bobby asked, mentally cursing John Winchester.

"Nah, got his voicemail again. I…I had to leave him a message about S…Sammy." Dean answered, his voce faltering and making no effort to hide his emotions like he usually did.

"Damn idjit" Bobby muttered under his breath.

"Bobby…" Dean started moving closer to the older man.

"Yeah son. What's up?" bobby asked putting his glass down and looked straight ay Dean.

"I just wanted to say hanks for everything, you now. For when we were little, all your help over the years and…and for today. We, me and Sam, really appreciated it, so just thanks for everything."

"Boy it was nothing. Just know I'll always be there for you and even that stubborn assed father of yours. So if you ever need help or just wanna talk, know my door's always open."

Bobby told him hoping to whom ever might be listening that Dean would realise he wasn't alone and that there would always be somebody when he needed help.

"Thanks Bobby." Dean said and then did something very out of character. He hugged Bobby.

Bobby was so stunned that all he could do was hug Dean back. When Dean pulled back and dropped his arms Bobby could swear he head Dean stifle a moan. When Bobby was about to comment Dean said " I'm going upstairs to clean up" turned around, walked out the kitchen and up the stairs. Bobby wasn't blind so he saw how unsteady Dean was walking.

He frowned and was about to go after Dean, when he noticed the blood on the floor. It was a double trail of bloobdropplets.

He stood there a few minutes trying to figure out where the hell he blood came from. It wasn't from when Dean carried in Sam because they came in the front and all the blood-soaked things were sill upstairs.

Then it hit him.

Dean's words, his pale skin and blue lips, the tremble that went through him when he hugged Bobby, the moan and unsteadiness.

Dean didn't just sound like he was saying goodbye. The damn kid was saying goodbye, to him and probably his dad too.

"SHIT" Bobby cursed and made a B-line for the stairs, clearly noticing the double trail of blood following Dean up the stairs…

_Meanwhile….._

Dean never could figure out if the fact that he could hide any injury so well was a good thing or a bad thing but at the moment he didn't care. It got him past Bobby and that was all that mattered.

By the time he got up the stairs, he was seeing double, vision fading in and out. His body shaking and cold from the blood loss. In his time as a hunter he had so many blood transfusions, he lost count by the time he was eighteen, so he knew the time it would take to bleed out. He also knew the symptoms, so he knew he was past shock or help. His body was shutting down and fast to.

He always wondered about this particular form of suicide. What would dive a person to slash his or her own wrists and know thanks to one fugly-assed werewolf he didn't have o wonder anymore. He found out the hard way.

He shrugged of his bloodied jacket and threw it down on the bloody bed sheet covering the bed. He didn't want to get Bobby's carpet full of blood as well. He put the two letters and the Impala's keys on the nightstand and laid down beside Sam's body. One arm on the pillow next to his head and the other around Sam's waist. Though his dazed mind he noticed the slashes on his wrists had almost completely stopped bleeding.

"Soon Sammy. I'll see you soon." He whispered just as Bobby came running into the room, cursing…..

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"Damn it boy" Bobby cursed bending over Dean.

"Hiya Bobby" Dean said, his words slurring.

"Don't _hiya Bobby _me, boy. What the hell do you thing you are doing?" Bobby scowled and made a noise sounding very much like a growl when Dean pulled his arm away when Bobby tried to reach for it.

"No Bobby, I…I told you. I am gonna fix things and that means being with Sammy. You know I have to take care of him."Dean countered, pulling away even further from Bobby as the lest fight left his body.

"So what?

You idjit just want me to stand around and watch you bleed to death?" Bobby growled out in disbelieve.

"Yeah, basically.

I told Sam…and know…I'm telling you…I can't live without...him here."Dean explained as if that was the most solid enough reason to die. His voice was fading fast ad so was he.

"Dean…"

"Tell…Dad…I love…him and that…I'm sorry."Dean managed to say before darkness overtook him the same time there was a loud knock at the front door.

"Jesus!"Bobby cursed again as he recognized the knock and took of for his front door…..

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

NOW IF YOU GUYS WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO DROP ME A REVIEW IT WILL BE VERY MUCH APPRICIATED……*MAKES PUPPY DOG EYES AND POUTS*…..THANKS. 


	5. Chapter 5:Shock

**DISCLIAMER: I really wish but some wishes just don't come true.......**

**A/N: Yeah quick update I know......**

**Ritu this chapter is especially just for you since you asked so nicely and a warning to those that can't handle shock this is gonna change every thing!!!!!**

**Thanks to everybody that read, reviewed and alerted. Some responses were very interesting so I decided on a quick update for all.........**

**%%%%%%%%%DEAN&SAM%%%%%%%%%%**

**I can't live without you here**

**Chapter 5: Shock!**

Bobby reached the front door in record time, throwing it open so hard the hinges complained.

"Bobby...."

"You've got one screwed up sense of timing John Winchester!"Bobby yelled at John, his voice gruff with tension

"Bobby what the hell is going on? Where is Dean?

He left me a message saying..."John asked but before he could finish Bobby pulled him into the house and roughly pushed him up the stairs saying

"Hurry up John. We don't have much time, Dean's almost gone and he needs to see you before it's too late!"

"Bobby, I don't understand. What's..." a confused John tried to ask but came to a sudden stop at the sight in front of him.

'Jesus, what the fuck happened?" he managed shocked. In front of him Sam and Dean were laying together on the bloody bed. Dean's arm was draped protectively over Sam's waist. If it wasn't for his sons pale complexions, he would have sworn they were just asleep.

He was brought out of his shock by Bobby's "John get your ass over here, NOW!"

Bobby was trying to wake Dean from his unconscious state.

"Come on Dean. Open your eyes just this last time.

Your Dad's here,wake up boy!"

Meanwhile, a shell shocked John made his way around the bed to look at his youngest.

"FUCK!"John cursed when he saw the slash marks on Dean's wrists.

"Oh God." He moaned pulling back the covers to look at the damage on Sam's chest.

"Bobby what the hell happened to my sons?"

"A Werewolf hunt went bad. It attacked Sam before Dean got a shot off. Sam died in Dean's arms a little while before he called you and did that to himself." Bobby explained remorsefully.

"A fucking Werewolf!" John repeated as he ran his fingers down the side of Sam's cheek. The pain coming through in his voice like a tide wave.

"Bobby?" John asked frowning, putting a hand flat on Sam's forehead. Sam's body should not be giving off any heat.

"Yeah?" Bobby answered his attention still with Dean.

"How long ago did you say did Sammy...died?"

"Give or take two hours ago. Why? "Bobby answered only sparring John a sideways _glance_.

"Did you two check to see if he was _really_ dead?" John asked and this time he got more than just a glance from Bobby.

"No, but..." Bobby started but John interrupted.

"Than Bobby I suggest you go call the fucking paramedics!" John ordered sounding more like a soldier than a grieving father.

"John, Dean doesn't want to be helped. He said he wanted to go to Sam." Bobby tried to explain.

He was pretty sure John was in full out shock about the deaths of his sons. He was about to say something about it when John's next words nearly gave him a heart attack

"Well, than we'd better start prying he holds on Bobby because Sam is still alive......"

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**NOW GUYS PLEASE REVIEW AND I WILL UPDATE SOOOOOOON.........**


	6. Chapter 6:Awake

**DISCLIAMER: Just let me go check on something……..*****gets up and go**

**Downstairs to the basement*…….****Damn I thought I locked that cell **

**door, so I guess I don't own anything supernatural except **

**Season 1-4 and I seriously bad obsession with Dean.**

**A/N: **Told you I'd post soon. Only 3 more chapters to go and it will be

the end of this. I never even thought I'd get 10 reviews never mind 30

so thank you guys you really made my day on this story especially

since it took me 4 months to build up the courage to post it.

So thank you to everyone who reviewed favoured and alerted.

Toast, this is for you since you asked so nicely…….

%%%%%%%%%%%%SAM AND DEAN*********************

I can't live without you here

Chapter 6: Awake

Bobby looked at the two still figures lying in the two hospital beds.

He secretly thought that the only reason both boys got the same room was because the doctor and nurses were scared shitless of John. It only took him one glare and a few choice words to stop them from separating Sam and Dean

John was stretching his legs and Bobby was keeping watch. It's been almost a week since the boys pitched on his doorstep and both were now in comas.

As he watched, his mind travelled back to that day from the moment the paramedics arrived, right up to when the boys were admitted to the hospital. John went with the ambulance and he followed in his truck.

From what John had told him, both boys crashed twice, first Sam and then Dean. It was as if Dean could sense when Sam was going and tried to follow him. The paramedics stabilising both just in time

Getting to the hospital things didn't get any better as both were rushed into surgery. It took them nearly six hours to get the boys through surgery and into I.C.U. Dean nearly dying on the operating table.

Both boys suffered severe blood loss and near fatal organ failure. Luckily neither had any brain damage. Surprisingly Sam didn't give anymore trouble but Dean sure gave them a run for there money. He flat lined the next day and nearly died again. After that he sported a fever that spiked in the hundreds.

Now both boys were in comas and all they could do was wait. Something neither he nor the Winchesters were had a virtue for. The doctor said it would take time and hopefully with no more surprises they would wake up, he just didn't know when.

Bobby smiled at the fit John almost threw when the doctor suggested thy put Dean on suicide watch when he woke up.

"Damn Winchesters.

Can't do anything the easy way." Bobby cursed under his breath moving around in his chair and suddenly stiffened when he heard a soft moan.

* * *

The first thing he was aware of was the pain. His entire body hurt. It felt like a train had run over him, repeatedly. The second thing was that he was alive, now there was a surprise. Then he heard the faint beep of the heart monitor and smelled the antiseptic.

"_Fuck" _he thought. He was in a goddamned hospital. He hated hospitals.

He was contemplating if he had enough strength to open his eyes when he sensed somebody near him.

"Dean?" he tried to ask, but it came out as a mumble than an actual word so he decided to open his eyes.

It wasn't Dean, but Bobby.

"Hey Sam. How ye feeling?" Bobby asked smiling down at him.

"Hurts." Sam managed weakly, at witch Bobby just gave a gruff

"Where's…Dean?" Sam asked, looking around the room.

Bobby's smile faltered a bit before he answered,

"That knucklehead.

He's sleeping off his stupidity."

When Sam frowned Bobby explained further,

"It's a long story but he'll be fine so don't freak out."

He moved to the stand and now Sam could his brother next to him in a hospital bed.

"W…what…the hell happened?" Sam struggled to ask. He wanted to get to his brother but he couldn't even move a finger and the darkness was closing in on him again.

The last thing he heard before darkness completely overtook him was Bobby saying,

"He'll be fine."

* * *

Two days passed and Dean still hadn't woken up. Sam nearly freaked when his Dad and Bobby told him what Dean had tried and almost succeeded in doing.

By the fourth day Sam insisted on getting up because, yes they were in the same room, but he wanted to be right next to Dean's bed. So after a lot of swearing, a good amount of pleading and showing those puppy dog eyes, his Dad, Bobby and his doctor caved and he was seated next to his brother.

When the fifth day of Sam being awake and the twelfth day of Dean being in a coma came and went, Sam got so fed-up with the nurses and doctors constant nagging that he just finally signed himself out. His Dad, Bobby and his doctor tried to stop him but finally stopped bugging him when he whole-heartedly pointed out that his wounds were healing quite nicely and didn't hurt anymore plus it wasn't like he was gonna leave the hospital anytime soon and besides he was a grown man who could goddamn well make his bloody decisions.

John and Sam were waiting beside Dean's bed and the moment Sam decided to stretch his legs and go to the bathroom, Dean decided to grace them with his presence.

"Mmmm…" Dean moaned, making his Dad jump with shock seeing that he was dozing of in his chair.

"Dean" John asked gently, sitting down on the bed next to his son.

"Dad?" Dean's voice was scratchy and his throat hurt

"Here drink this." John said holding a straw to his lips so that he could drink some water.

Dean closed his eyes for a few seconds trying to work out what happened.

"W...where...am...I?"He asked opening his eyes again.

"Hospital.

You've been in a coma for over thirteen days." John answered carefully. He knew what was gonna happen when Dean remember why he was there and throw in the fact that he didn't know about Sam, he was expecting fireworks to say the least.

Moments later he was proven right as tears started to run down Dean's face.

"OH GOD.....Sammy" Dean moaned as his memory returned. The pain in his heart worse then that in his wrists.

"Why?" He whispered softly, voice breaking with pain and sorrow.

"Why what, Dean?" John asked soothingly as possible.

'Why'd you bring me in?

Why'd you save me?

All I wanted was to be with Sammy and you stopped me. Why?" Dean said closing his eyes again.

"Dean, I..."

"NO! You know what?

I don't wanna know, so just go away." Dean cut him off.

"Dean..." John tried again

"Just go away. Leave me alone." Dean said coldly and without opening his eyes turned on his side, away from John.

He felt relieved as his Dad got up and he heard him move to the door. He heard his Dad talking to someone but his mind was so pain filled he didn't bother to place or recognise the voice...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**Okay it's that time again. If you read please leave a review and i will update soon....promise **


	7. Chapter 7:quick note

**QUICK NOTE TO EVERYONE READING.**

I just wanted to let every one know that the next chapter will be up in the next week or so and that I have NOT given up on this story.

In the firs week I HAD to help get a wedding planed and that was one crisis on the next (and before you ask not my wedding).

Last week my twin brother crashed his motorbike and was in a coma for a week and 2 days but don't worry he decided to grace us with his presence last night and will be released as soon as the doc sees fit.

I will post soon and I hope you guys aren't to mad at me for not posting sooner.

**Gaelic.**

**P.S:** THANK YOU to every one that supported and those that send their best wishes for Alex to get better.

**TOAST (especially you since you kept me sane the last couple days)**

**RITU**

**LITTLE SISTER'S KEEPER**

**ELECTRIC DREAM**

You guys are all the best and thanks again….


	8. Chapter 8:Proof of life

**A/N: **Yeah and I bet everyone wondered if this was ever going to see the light of day…. So people please put down the pitchforks and torches. I know I am WAY late in posting (yeah, okay scratch that I am past late) but things just got a little busy the last couple of weeks, heck I mean months and me and my muse had some issues to sort out but I can know post the new chapter and I am really sorry that you guys had to wait so long for Chapter 7 and I really am glad for the people that kept on bugging me for the next update so with out any further delay here is Chapter 7, hope you guys like it…..

**A/N 2: ****Lets all just have a moment of silence for the loss of two great bachelors, Jensen and Jared.  
Luckily Dean and Sam are still available…..**

**A/N 3:**** Just wanted to wish Dean a very belated happy birthday**

**DISCLAIMER: **I asked Santa to give them to me but unfortunately they still belong to Kripke.

* * *

**I can't live without you here. **

**Chapter 7: Proof of life. **

Sam watched as his Dad got up and came over to him, shaking his head. He had heard the last part of the conversation when Dean had asked why John saved him and it broke his heart to see his brother so devastated. Sam could clearly see from the way that Dean's body was shaking that he was crying.

"He doesn't want to talk to me. He thinks that I stopped him from going to you." John told him, shaking his head again.

"Mind if I give it a try?"

"Be my guest. Let's just hope he doesn't think you are ghost and freak out or try and exorcise you because right now anything's possible with him." John joked half-heartedly, his heart was really breaking to see his son this heartbroken. It slightly scared him to think as to what Dean would do if something like this ever happened again or to what lengths Dean would go too to protect Sam.

"He can try but I will kick his ass if he tries anything." Sam smirked, nodding to Bobby who just came back from the coffee run.

"Take it the idjit's finally awake." Bobby said, handing over Sam and John's coffee cups  
"That boy never does anything halfway, does he?"

"Yeah, think I am gonna make an appearance now." Sam said and headed to his brother's room.

"Oh, this is one conversation I've gotta hear" John said with an amused smile as he followed his youngest.

"That makes two of us." Bobby agreed with a slight smirk as both men went to stand just outside the door, not wanting to intrude on the conversation both men were sure to be a very emotional chat.  
This was going to be one hell of a conversation!

*****DEAN&SAM*****

When Dean felt an annoying tapping against his cheek he tried to brush it away but since that only made his wrists hurt more and the tapping still didn't stop he tried another route.

"Go away would ye. Leave me the fuck alone."

"Is that really what you want Dean?" a very familiar voice said and Dean's eyes shot open, looking straight into the familiar hazel brown eyes hovering inches from his face.  
Sammy's eyes.  
But that was impossible. Sam was dead, wasn't he, Dean knew he was dead but he still couldn't stop himself from asking,

"Sammy?"

"No, the fuckin' Tooth fairy" Sam answered sarcastically, sitting down on the edge of Dean's bed.

"Alright, either I'm hallucinating or you're a damn ghost because you are not real because Sammy is dead." Dean said gently pushing himself up on the bed.  
"Either that or the meds are pretty freakin' good"

"OW!" he yelped suddenly, rubbing the back of his head where Sam hit him saying,  
"I am not dead, you idiot but it was damn close."

"_Jesus,_ for a hallucination or what ever the hell you are, you hit just as hard as the real Sam when he was....." Dean trailed off, looking out the window as he blinked away tears. He was not going to cry in front of this...this thing.

"Hmph!" Sam huffed, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his coffee. He gave Dean such a long, hard look that Dean started to get uncomfortable under it.

"What?" he asked annoyed when he couldn't take it anymore.

"Suicide, huh?" Sam asked still giving him a scrutinizing look.

"Yeah so, what's it got to do with you?" Dean answered coldly  
"You are NOT real and you are NOT Sammy."

Giving him another eye roll and an irritated sigh, Sam asked,  
"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you try to off yourself?" Sam asked as if he was talking to a six year old and not his twenty six year old brother.

"Well it's fuckin' obvious, isn't it?"

When Sam just raised an eyebrow, he explained further.

"Sam is dead and I wanted to be with him, so this..." and he raised his bandaged wrist, "was the only thing I could think of at the time but thanks to my Dad and Bobby's interference, I can't."

When Sam only nodded, Dean asked irritated,  
"Now are you happy?"

"Over the freakin moon." Sam snarked sarcastically

"Good, now if you don't mind leaving me the fuck alone because I don't like or enjoy talking to hallucinations of my dead brother." Dean sneered.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!  
I am NOT a bloody hallucination" Sam cried, jumping off the bed and went to too stand right in front of his brother's face and when Dean wanted to comment on that Sam continued,

"And I am not a ghost, shape shifter, skin walker or any other supernatural fugly you can come up with."

"Sure you're not." Dean said dryly

"_Jesus, _you're stubborn." Sam remarked in frustration.

"Wait, I'll bloody prove it to you." And he disappeared out of view behind the curtain that hid the bed slightly from the door's view.

****SAM&DEAN****

John looked at him with a raised eyebrow.  
"You want to borrow my what?" he asked in disbelief

"You heard me. I just want to quickly borrow your knife." Sam repeated, clearly serious and not looking like he was going to take no for an answer.

"And why would you need a knife?"

"Proof" Sam simply answered, holding out his hand and taking the knife. He was getting bored with this game and his body started to hurt a little bit again and Dean's hard headedness was starting to work on his last nerves and patience.

"_Why did his family have to get cursed with a stubborn streak form here to hell and back? "_

****SAM&DEAN****

"GOD! You just don't give up do you?" Dean groaned as Sam reappeared next to him.

"Nope, not really." Sam said, sitting down on the bed  
"Now, do you want proof that I am really me and that I am real or not?

"Fine, whatever floats your boat. If it means you'll leave me the hell alone ,go for it." Dean sighed and suddenly he's eyes went as big as diner plates when Sam produced the knife from his pocket.

"W..What the hell are you do…." Dean started but stopped when Sam lifted the knife to his own hand and made a small cut on the tip of his index finger and then put the knife back in his jeans pocket.  
Dean looked at the blood pooling on Sam's hand, then back to Sam and then back down to his bleeding hand.

"Well is that enough proof for you because the last time I checked hallucinations and ghosts don't bleed?" Sam asked, looking at his brother with a small satisfied smirk  
"And If I was a shape shifter I would not have been as dumb as to do that since the knife is pure silver."

Several emotions passed over Dean's face, confusion and disbelieve only being some of them and finally it settled on hope.

"S..Sammy?" Dean asked softly, his voice almost breaking as he tried to rain in his emotions.

"Yes Dean?"

"Is it r…really you?" Dean wanted to know carefully and when Sam only nodded in a silent yes, Dean suddenly flung himself into Sam's arms, clinging to him as if his life depended on it.

"Ow" Sam moaned with a smile as Dean hit his still healing chest, Dean only managing to say one word through his tears, making it sound like the answer to a prayer and to him it probably was.

"Sammy….."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**So……(and I am actually having the decency to look embarrassed about this)** …..  
**I would really love it if you guys would leave me a review on this since I am hoping there is still a couple of followers to this story out there…..somewhere  
So please, pretty please with a cherry on top read and review this…**


	9. Chapter 9:Waiting

**A/N:** Hi guys.  
Yes surprisingly I am still alive and I am _**really**_ sorry that I am taking _SO_ long in posting but RL has kinda taken it upon it's self to make my life as difficult as possible but luckily it looks like things are taking a turn for the better , I hope….  
This chapter is gonna be a bit short but it was only done in like thirty minutes and I had to attend a funeral after I typed it up so I don't know if there is any mistakes.  
It works as a bridge to the last chapter and since I have been solely focusing on Dean I decided Sammy needs some alone time as well and he had to voice his emotions as to what happened.

Thank you to every one who hasn't given up on this and I promise to have the next part up in two weeks time

**DISCLAIMER: ****Just let me go check on something……..***_**gets up and goes**_

_**Downstairs to the basement***_**…….Damn I thought I locked that cell **

**door, so I guess I don't own anything supernatural except **

**Season 1-4 and I seriously bad obsession with Dean.**

**

* * *

**

**I can't live without you here**

**Chapter 8: Waiting**

**3**

Sam was sitting on Dean's hospital bed, back and head leaning against the wall.  
He smiled down at Dean as he rubbed small, comforting circles up and down Dean's back.  
After Dean had calmed down enough and managed to stop crying ( Dean would deny the crying later on of course ) he curled up against Sam's side and simple fell asleep with one hand still fisted tightly in Sam's shirt as if he was afraid to let go in case Sam disappeared.  
That was three hours ago and Sam was getting restless from sitting in the same position for so long but not wanting to move out of fear that he might wake Dean and God knows Dean needed his rest.

Sam immediately stopped fidgeting when Dean started to get restless.

"S'mmy..." Dean moaned in his sleep, body twitching slightly.

"Shhh, Dean.I'm right here."Sam soothed, pulling Dean closer when it became clear to Sam that Dean was having a nightmare and seriously who could blame the guy after everything that had happened.  
"Sleep Dean. I'll take care of you, I'm not going anywhere"

In a way he understood why Dean did what he did.  
If Sam had ever had to lose Dean in anyway it would probably kill him and it scared the crap out of him at just how close he came at really losing his brother.  
Sam looked down as Dean mumbled something incoherent in his sleep and moved even closer to Sam.  
Sam only smiled again and tightened his own hold on Dean who instantly relaxed at the feel of his brother's touch

This reversal of their roles was very strange to Sam.  
Usually it would be him that was comforted by Dean after he had a nightmare or a fighting his way back from a particularly gruesome vision.  
Even if Dean wasn't one to rarely show emotion or do what he termed "chick-flick" moments, he still gad a way to make Sam feel safe and protected.  
But Sam had to admit that even if it was weird it was kinda nice being the one to take care of his stubborn older brother for a change.  
It was nice being the protector for once, even thought it was just for a little while.

So Sam made himself comfortable, pulled Dean closer and closed his eyes,waiting for Dean to wake up because when he woke he and Sam had a few things to talk about...

**To Be Continued...**

**Dean and Sam will be having that conversation so please, please, please review if you read it.  
Any comments are welcome, good or bad but please don't flame.  
I hope there are still people following this... **


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